How to manage pain during intercourse

Painful sex is a real passion killer. It is a problem that affects about 1 in 10 women, yet many suffer in silence. Vaginal dryness is one of the most common causes of painful intercourse and something we need to talk more about: sex should be something we can enjoy, not avoid, so here is our guide to managing pain during intercourse.

PAIN DURING SEX

To understand how vaginal dryness can cause pain during sex, we need to address the issue of lubricant. Sure, you can buy lubricant in the store (and of course it can help with painful intercourse), but did you know that our body naturally produces lubricant when we feel aroused? Two glands near the entrance to your vagina secrete cervical mucus before and during sex for a clear reason: it adds moisture which results in less friction with the sensitive skin on your vaginal walls – meaning less pain and more pleasure.

It is important to remember, however, that if you suffer from vaginal dryness, it is likely that your natural lubricant does not fully meet expectations. Vaginal dryness can lead to irritation, soreness, and pain during and after sex. Your secretion levels are often linked to your estrogen levels, so it is very common for these levels to be affected, for example, during menopause, when you are breastfeeding, or when you take hormonal contraceptives or undergo cancer treatment. It is important to remember that painful sex can affect anyone and the physical side effects are only part of the consequences that pain during intercourse can cause.

HOW YOU CAN INFLUENCE THE FEELINGS THAT ARISE

Anything that affects our sex life can in turn affect our confidence, self-esteem, and overall well-being. No matter where we are in life, we want to feel empowered and in control of our sexuality, which can become frustrating when mentally you want to be in the moment but the body refuses to cooperate. You may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or even disappointed in your body – that lack of self-love will only make your confidence problems worse. When you establish a connection between sex and pain, you will withdraw from your sexuality more and more – which can be really tough, especially if you are also in a transitional phase of life, like menopause or if you have recently given birth.

Intimacy is a key component of a healthy relationship, so when you notice that you are avoiding sex, it can eventually lead to problems with your partner. Your partner may feel unattractive or think that you have doubts about your relationship, but by talking openly with your partner, you can address these thoughts and fears.

HOW YOU CAN TALK TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT IT

The shame around vaginal dryness (or really anything related to our genitals) can make it difficult for us to discuss or ask for help. But the truth is there is nothing to be ashamed of and sharing and telling your partner about your troubles can help you both feel better.

It is important to first explain to your partner how your issues with vaginal dryness make you feel. You may find it difficult to talk about at first but trust that your partner will support you. Honesty will also make the bond between you stronger – something that is good for strengthening intimacy in the relationship.

You can also explain to your partner that the reason you do not enjoy sex in the same way is because of this condition – not because of your partner. This is to ensure your partner fully understands you and to make sure you together can find a way to make sex less painful and more enjoyable (and maybe even try some new methods along the way!)

If you find that penetrative sex is too painful, this may be a time when you experiment with other forms of intimacy and foreplay. Besides pleasant moments together, you may also discover new and different ways of doing things that can help kickstart your natural lubricant – which can make sex pleasurable again!

You can also consider using a lubricant but try to choose one with a natural formula and optimal osmolality, otherwise you may experience even worse problems with dryness. The most important thing is not to force yourself into anything. If you try to have sex when you suffer from vaginal dryness, it can not only lead to pain but also damage your vaginal walls. Take it slow and work together with your partner to find a way back to your sexual confidence and pleasure.

HOW YOU CAN DEAL WITH VAGINAL DRYNESS

Of course, severe cases of vaginal dryness cannot be solved with foreplay alone. There may be larger underlying problems affecting other parts of your life – not just the sexual. Talk to your healthcare provider about your troubles to get advice and recommendations regarding treatment or lifestyle changes that can help reduce your vaginal dryness.

There are also products that can help keep your genital area healthy and moisturized. VagiVital Active Gel restores moisture in your vagina and strengthens the vaginal walls. You start by applying one dose a day for 30 days and then use it as needed. If you want to freshen up, moisturize, and restore the pH balance in the vagina gently, VagiVital V-Cleanser can help. By using products that strengthen your vaginal health, you can improve your well-being, your confidence, and your sex life (did you know that 44% of women who use VagiVital actually become more sexually active?). So take the chance and try VagiVital’s products, your genital area will be forever grateful to you.